I’m a Timetraveller

There’s a thing going on at CERN where they have apparently measured a particle going faster than the speed of light, something thought almost impossible (or something…). From what little I understand the faster you go the more time slows down; at the speed of light there is no time; any faster than the speed of light time goes backwards.  So not only does this particle go faster than the speed of light but also it is going backwards through time. Simple.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

But this isn’t proven. They have to run through the test a few times just to make sure they were “seeing things”, or that their equipment wasn’t faulty, or both. Or that someone wasn’t biasing the results by watching Formula 1 racing and mixed up one screen for another (“Wow, that’s the fastest I’ve ever seen.” “So, shall we put that result down as faster than the speed of light?” “Yeah, whatever…”).

Whilst they’re figuring out how to travel through time I’m doing my own time travelling (I’m WAY ahead of them). Yes, that’s right, I’m travelling one second per second, and I’m doing that without a PhD.

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